It’s been a month? Really?!

September 21, 2009

Ok, so I can’t believe it’s been a month since my last post. I tend to start things and not follow through on them so I’m really trying to keep blogging. I know that chances are nobody is reading this (though I did give a few friends the URL), but I think it would be nice to look back at someday. You know, when life is super-awesome.

Not that it’s all bad now. It’s just….life. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Somedays things work out well, sometimes things don’t work out well at all. Sometimes I’m feeling positive despite all the crappiness, sometimes I’m feeling negative even when things are going ok. Life, ya know?

Well that perfect job? Before the interview even came about the job had changed from 3 days/wk ER overnights to 4 days/wk internal medicine day shifts….which took it out of the realm of possibility or interest for me. I still went to the interview, get my foot in the door and all that. It went well and I am going to have a semi-permanent regular relief shift there as well as do other occasional relief shifts. So I have Saturday overnights lined up there starting in October. I hope that I like it as much as I think I will!

I also have a regular weekly relief shift at Clinic B, Thursdays. And while I don’t have a regular weekly shifts at Clinic A, I do have Sunday nights scheduled for October & probably November. And I have a couple of shifts at the end of October scheduled at my old work. So at the same time of the month as August, I have 15 shifts lined up for October already! (Versus 7 at this time in August for Sept.) And I imagine that will fill out considerably as we get closer and into October. As a point of reference……at this point last month I had only 7 shifts lined up……I’ve ended up working 20 this month!!! It’s been crazy, I worked 16 shifts in the first 17 days of the month. The bonus is that just with work this month I’ve made up for losing out on two weeks of work at the end of August.  My new goal is to work as much as I can (reasonably—-no double shifts or back-to-back insanity….I did that this month!) until Thanksgiving. I’m taking a week off for Thanksgiving to fly home and spend it with my family. And then I’m gonna work as much as I can the first 2 weeks of December and plan on taking the last 2 weeks of December off. I want to spend Christmas with my friend Ashley and her family, and I’m thinking about flying to New York City to spend New Year’s with my friend Craig. I’ve been wanting to visit him for years since he’s moved there and have never had the money or chance. But I have lots of working to get done to be able to afford to take all that time off and a trip to NYC!  I think I can do it, after all I have 2-3 regular weekly shifts plus a total of 5! clinics that I do relief for. I’ve had to turn down like 4-6 shifts this month due to scheduling conflicts so basically I can work as much as I want to. At least that’s my hope!  While I have regular days scheduled for October, I have at least 2 or 3 places to hear from about other relief shifts so it’ll probably fill in quite a bit. Yay! It’s nice to not have to worry about money at least.

Oh yeah! News since last posting. Shawn finally came and picked up his fishtanks and dead car and all his other belongings. It was like pulling teeth to get him out there, even on the day that he had assigned to himself. Typical Shawn. I had thought how happy I would be when it was all gone, but that night after he left and I looked at the empty house I was just sad. It was like, ‘finally! my house is mine again!’ But also, ‘this wasn’t how it was all supposed to go’ It’s easy to look back sometimes and wax nostalgic about how good things were. And then I remember how really really not it was so much of the time. The drug peddling, the laziness, the obstinate behavior, the Valentine’s Day where he didn’t come home, the yelling and picking over nothing, the many many tears. The next day, I was just simply happy to have my life back again, to start again. Right now it’s hard because when I go into stores they have all the Halloween stuff out. And Halloween last year was the point in our relationship where everything was really really good. He was just moving in, I was starting to spend time with the kids, the holiday season and plans and activities, and it was all so new and hopeful and promising. It wasn’t until about New Year’s that everything went to hell. So this holiday season is going to be hard. Everytime I walk in a store there will be reminders EVERYWHERE of last year and how happy I was then. Not that I am exactly UNhappy now, just not happy like the promise of it last year.

Because really, what am I supposed to do with those Christmas portraits that we took last year? That’s not my family, those aren’t my kids, no matter how much I wanted it. I can’t ever put those into a photo album, but I can’t throw them away either. It’s all just really sad.

Anyways I’m excited to go to the Puyallup Fair with friends next Sunday, it’s the last “summer” activity. So sad that summer is over!! This has been a good summer all in all. I got a tan, spent lots of time outside and in the sun and reading in my hammock, caught up on sleep, spent plenty of time hanging out and talking with friends, and just enjoyed time to myself. Hopefully I’ll have a good and busy fall/winter between work and time off to enjoy holidays. Chances are I’ll have  fulltime ER job by next holiday season and then all bets are off! Definitely not gonna be able to take chunks of time off so I’d better enjoy it while I have the opportunity.

Ok well this has been inane and rambling. If you are reading this, friends, well you know that this is typical Lissa. 😉 I’m gonna go and try to be a little more structured and sensible in my next post. Which will hopefully be a recap of the Fair and not another monthly update! Wish me luck!

~Lissa

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