The next path

August 14, 2009

Well, I put in my two weeks today. Probably doesn’t come as a huge surprise after my last post. Things have just continued from there. I had a great many concerns and reservations, but me and the boss had seemed to be getting along ok at least. And then BOOM! Last night (my day off) I checked my email (which I don’t always do on my days off) and there was an email with a very innocuous subject line from my boss. “Hmm, must have some minor random question” I thought, which was usually what he emails me regarding. I mean, if it’s important enough that it needs to be brought to my attention on my day off, you’d think a call would be in order! No, no random question as it turned out. Apparently there was SOME issue at work (it was never divulged exactly what in the email) and the boss was going off on me. Ranting, raving, insults and accusations regarding my integrity, my thoughts, my motivations, my actions, my words. A lot of just really REALLY harsh, offbase, false, and cruel things. And basically just ended it by inviting me to quit more or less. To top it off, I happened to be reading this email at 10pm ON MY DAY OFF while I was chatting online with a friend who I hadn’t gotten to speak with in over a week. To say that I was angry was an understatement of the century. I was hand-shaking infuriated and hurt and resentful and shocked. It was the most incredibly unprofessional thing I have ever had done to me and I am someone who prides herself on being in control and professional and A GROWN-UP. Screaming at an employee about some situation (again, I still don’t know what it was) in an EMAIL sent on her DAY OFF is soooooooooo not cool. Not ethically or professionally right and just reiterates my opinions on this man as a manager, supervisor, and businessman.

After chatting about it with my poor unsuspecting friend, and then calling another friend who is in the same field as I and can therefore really understand my concerns and the situations at play, I wrote my boss a 3 page letter addressing his email, his accusations and insinuations, and some things about HIM that I felt it important that he be told. Obviously, I ended the letter with my resignation. I worked pretty hard on the letter, tried to make it professional and not mean-spirited or petty. I tried to leave out many of the smaller issues I have had and some of the medical decision things (there have been a LOT) and to instead focus more on the larger issues and the ones that he brought up in the email to me. I tried to be concise and to the point and to MAKE the points I wanted to. I read it over like 4 times last night. Got almost no sleep. And then reread it over a couple more times this morning. And I felt good about what I had said and how I said it.

Went to work this morning just like normal. Put the letter in an envelope on his desk. Spoke to both the receptionist and the other technician when they arrived at work (before the vet got there) to warn them that I was putting in notice today and that I had written a letter that the vet might very well get quite upset about. They were both sad that I was leaving, but I think they’ve been seeing the writing on the wall. After all, I’m just not a follower. I don’t put up with bullshit, I call it out. And I certainly don’t put up and shut up if I think things can or should be done differently. What can I say? I’m a rebel. Hah!

I was sick to my stomach all morning, dreading the potential outlash once the vet read my letter. I was seriously expecting ranting, outrage, yelling, all sorts of unpleasantness, even being told to leave RIGHT THEN.  I wanted to run away when he went into the office and I KNEW that he had to be reading the letter. He came out and calmly pulled me aside “to talk”. Deep breath as I followed him into one of the waiting rooms.

But all he said was that he agreed with my decision and was glad that I had made it. That he had been hoping that I wouldn’t want to “keep fighting this out” and that I would just quit. Pussy passive-aggressive asshole. God forbid he have the balls and management ability to fire me if he was so unhappy with me. I had to be the bigger, more professional person in the scenario and do the dirty work for him.

Ok, so I’m totally pissed off but kinda at peace too. It was turning into this very stressful, toxic environment where I felt like my ethics and my standards and my ideals had to be compromised every day. And that isn’t how I like to perform my job. I think my ethics, standards, and ideals are important to doing my job properly and with excellence. So I will leave his mediocre, egotistical, arrogant, and hypocritical practice philosophy and level of medicine to him. I have more opportunities and places to go where the highest standards are celebrated and embraced, not thought of as ways to price gouge owners and act better than others or any of those things.

The sad thing is, that so many of my character traits which he found so terrible and threatening are the same ones that I relish in myself and in the way I do my job. Things that I enjoy and cherish in the type of atmosphere I want to work within. He has the weirdest things that he has complexes and mental blocks about, and the ironic thing is that these complexes of his are what will cause his business to fail sooner or later.

Now I go back to fulltime relief. Or  more likely some regular part-time/relief work. I am not going to rush into finding another fulltime job because they are in general hard to come by, and ones in the types of places that I would like even more so. So I will take my time and wait and watch. In the meantime, I have some good leads on relief/part-time work to tide me through. There are fallbacks…a more random schedule, some level of commuting, etc. But feeling fulfilled in my day’s work, not fighting management, not having to run to work in the evening or middle of the night to care for random hospitalized patients, and getting a higher pay rate are all plusses!

We’ll just see what happens! I am sad that this job didn’t work out as I had great plans for it, but I cannot accept what it has become. So I am looking forward to the next chapter.

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