Working thoughts

August 4, 2009

Just a bunch of random things here today…..

~Bad day at work today. Not really an awful kind, just one that leaves a bad taste in the mouth. The actual work part went fine but then a client went nutso about a bill (granted….the doc didn’t give an estimate and it ended up being a pretty significant bill. Our uh-oh, but the client didn’t ASK for an estimate either….) and the doc and client yelled at each other on the phone for 20 minutes. Then he came in and picked up his pet and didn’t pay a dime of the now-discounted bill. (my thoughts: why discount? asshole client just getting his way by being an asshole. So glad we are training our clients to take advantage of us. Again.)

~My doc is making me craaazy. He says he doesn’t want the clinic to be “all about money” But then he is freaking out on me every other day about not spending money, we aren’t making enough money. And then every other client he is discounting their bill and/or letting them not pay the full balance. WHHYYYYY!??!?!?!??  So self-defeating.

~To make our day more complicated, we have a extremely critical patient that is dying. It was this huge, very advanced surgery that we did last week and has gone to hell. The dog is dying, will probably pass before the end of the night, and is in horrible pain despite loads of pain meds. He is in multi-system organ failure, not making urine, we are loading him with liters of fluids and fluid overloading him, and it’s just horrible. I think the owners know it is bad but the doc “isn’t gonna to give up on him” for some reason and so despite the fact that THERE IS NO WAY TO SAVE THIS DOG AND HE IS IN AGONY, the doc isn’t really relaying that info to the owners appropriately and therefore they are not being given the chance to make an educated decision for their dog. As in, to peacefully let it go and be out of its misery while they are there with him. No, he’s going to continue in misery and pain while his organ systems finally shut down slowly overnight and he is alone in a cage and his owners are at home and not really aware of how dire the situation is. And I know the doc just doesn’t want to give up on this dog, he slaved over the surgery and it’s heartbreaking to see it all fall apart, but OMG it is horrific to watch what this dog is going through and knowing that it is an absolute lost cause. I didn’t know what to do or how to talk to the doc about it (not in a very receptive mood, see above) and so I just did what I was told, sent lots of very sad, grim looks towards the owners, asked them a couple times if they had questions (in case they did and I could communicate subtly how VERY VERY BAD this is–but they didn’t have questions), and went home leaving the doc to stay at the clinic all night on death watch. Because at this point, we’ve loaded the dog to kingdom come on pain meds (hopefully he’ll just pass out until he passes) and it’s only a matter of hours. I know this. I always know. I can tell.

~Ok well I didn’t actually mean to say anything about all that cause I’m really just trying to forget about it. I am off for the next two days and it will all be over by the time I go back. And it doesn’t do any good to dwell on it. But I guess I needed to say something. To someone. The only person in my real life that would understand all the medical gobbly-gook and the sad sad wrongness of not letting the owners know the seriousness and make their own educated decision would just be infuriated about the doc’s choice here and that would just fire my own anger which I am trying to not let take me over.  *sigh* Ok.

~I was really hoping my online friend M would be online tonight but she’s not here. I guess her gf is still in town. I was hoping to chat with her and distract myself from my crappy day. I should text my friend R.

~I had a good day yesterday!! My friend Ashley had a 1st birthday party for her son and it was so fun. They actually had a big group of people there and Ash went all out with decorating for the Luau theme. I was sad that I had to leave after only a couple of hours to get to my relief job. But it was nice to go up, have a couple mimosas, eat some BBQ, see the baby and his parents.

~Speaking of…..I worked a relief shift at my old old clinic last night. It’s still a little trippy being there but I worked with a bunch of people that were my old co-workers. It’s freaky how fast I fall back into the old patterns and habits and dealing with those people I knew so well and haven’t dealt with in 3 years. But we were busy and I was in charge of triage (fun!) and lab. It involves a lot of multitasking and prioritizing and juggling and not so much dealing with the patients themselves. So it was a fun change of pace and I ROCKED IT!! Got  all the patients triaged and vital-signed and in and out of rooms like no other. And then got all the labwork busted out in a timely and concise manner. AND filled prescriptions in between. The awesome thing, after all the various stresses of getting this new clinic started at my “real” job over the last couple months and not getting so much positive encouragement. (Ok, that sounds awful. My doc is actually quite supportive and appreciative but we’re ALL really stressed out with this whole new-clinic things….it is fine and will only get better) Anyways, the really awesome thing is that at the end of the night, one of the docs at my old ER gave me a “way to go” and high five! 😀  And one of the other techs (who is kinda a negative person) complimented me on getting the labwork all busted out. It was a good end of the night and a nice break from my day to day stuff. I think this whole taking relief shifts at this place may actually work out really well for me. Plus, they always have lots of extra shifts available, it’s closer than any of my other relief clinics, and they pay better. So yay!

Ok, well I’m gonna go watch my shows now and think about what to eat for dinner. I’ll talk more later!


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