Vehicular woes & the exiled Shawn

Soo…..Shawn’s truck has died. Maybe not a permanent death, but it is seriously out of commission for some….unknown…..reason. As of last Friday everything was going great. We had gotten through 3 weekends in a row of having the kids–an experience for sure! I was finally feeling well again. (I had my first cold sore, then a bladder infection, then some “female” infection from the antibiotics for the bladder infection, then a day of nasty nausea, then a cold…..and of course all the exhaustion that goes along with keeping up my normal schedule with all that illness!) The truck was running. Big plans! Yay! We were finally getting to settle into a routine. Shawn got paid and planned for us to have a nice dinner date. So Friday we had a lovely dinner at a local brewery before I went off to work. And at 3am on Saturday morning I get a phone call from him letting me know that he is at his brother’s house and the truck won’t start. And thus begins my lousy week.

The truck won’t work. Shawn had already done a million little things to it. Now since Friday he has replaced the alternator, the starter, the spark plugs and wires….and some other little stuff that I don’t know about. And still the truck won’t start. He has a few ideas, it seems like everyone he talks to has a different idea of what it could be. Maybe the ignition module, maybe the fuel filter, maybe the fuel pump, maybe some wire/hose/bolt/screw/line…..so frustrating!

What makes it worse is that he doesn’t have the money to fix it. Any of it. He was so happy this Friday that he had figured out his budget and paid all his bills and had money set aside for gas and had structured both his payday loans into payment plans and was able to take me out to dinner. And that was ALL the money he had. But it would have been fine. Except the truck won’t start. And it needs money to fix it. So I have been paying for the parts. Which I don’t really mind, because I want it fixed. It’s just that this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. I’m not supposed to be $300 in the hole on this stupid truck. He’s not supposed to be owing me that money. This was supposed to be a good thing, this stupid truck. It was supposed to be easily made to run and all happy and stuff. Not this evil moneypit thing which I am throwing money at and now I’m loaning him money and he is owing me money and that just never makes for a comfortable situation for anyone involved. I’m not worried about it, I know he’ll pay me back and I’m not in a dire situation right now and of course he would do the same for me, but it just doesn’t sit well. Not for him, not for me. I just want the stupid thing to work. And I’m worried about the fact that WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE STUPID TRUCK. Or how much fixing it is going to cost. And if Shawn can even fix it himself. Or how long all this is going to take.

And did I tell you? Until he fixes the truck, Shawn is effectively exiled from living with me. This is NOT my idea! I want him THERE. But I live Far Away from Town. And he works in Town. And our shifts overlap. So if he doesn’t have something to drive (see abovementioned STUPID TRUCK) then he is not able to get back and forth from the house. And thus he must stay in town and some assorted friend/family members house. And not with me. At OUR house. That he has moved into. And all his stuff is piled about in. And he is not there when I get home. I do not like this. At least this weekend when I have my days off I can cart him home with me. But hopefully by then it will all be a moot point. He has Friday off so his plan is GET THE STUPID TRUCK RUNNING. Or my stress level will be seriously out of control.

I’m not mad at anyone. Except the truck. It’s not his fault the truck is stupid and has been sitting in my yard neglected and rotting for 3 years. It’s not his fault that the truck stopped running the moment he had been paid and then spent his paycheck….not getting paid again for another whole 2 weeks and therefore not having a single dollar to spend on fixing said truck. It’s not his fault he is not at the house everyday. I just don’t like any of this. I have been waiting 3 weeks now since his official “move in” date to feel like he is moved in and just as it was starting to happen, all of this. I am just eager to get started on the “normal” portion of being with him.

Plus we’re supposed to be getting the kids on Sunday/Monday. Which will work much better if he has the truck fixed by then.

Really, I just miss him. I want him back home with me. I want this un-fun part to be done. I love him.

That’s all.

~Lissa